It was wonderful to see you again after your months absence while I was snowed on and blown off my bike by -5 degree winds. Truly your gentle, damp caresses as I pedaled to work were a welcome relief and it felt as though an old friend had sent me that long awaited email, had called up out of the blue at I time I needed to hear their voice. Under your light droplets the frozen tundra of our parks and gardens melted away, the harsh and dangerous ice no match for your soft, wet kisses. Your arrival has marked the end of winter, the beginning of a new cycle of life.
But ENOUGH already! Ok, the first 2 days - fine. You had many months of wetness to catch up on, that I understand. But COME ON. Why is it you always start when I'm halfway to work and not dressed to cope with you? Why is it that you allow the clouds to clear long enough to think its safe to walk the dog and then DUMP IT ALL ON MY HEAD when we are still an hour from home?
So, dear Rain, as joyful as it was to first hear you pattering against the windows, it is now time for you to FUCK OFF.
The Damp Hamburger