Friday, April 08, 2005

Insert scary music here

The other night I was sitting innocently watching television a the telephone began to rang. Unaware that answering this would catapult me back to a time of, yes, fear, I unwittingly pressed talk and put it to my ear. And on the other end a voice from the past, it was....

Gretel The Psycho

Several years ago I shared a flat with GTP, having been convinced in our first meeting that she was a young upstanding woman with only a slight case of social inadaquacies. However, as time went on, more and more of her oddities came to light until I no longer felt happy or even safe in this flat and moved out as quickly as I could.
To share a bit of what occured, I'll briefly mentionsome of her highlights.

Never cooking, simply walking into the kitchen as I was serving up my meal, grab a fork and start helping herself.
Turning up to a small party I was having with several friends PRETENDING to be drunk after 10 minutes. She then proceeded to fall all over my boyfriend, flash her tits and DRY HUMP MY COUCH.
She would sit in my room talking nonstop unitl the wee hours despite the hints of "I'm going to bed now, oh, look, I've put my pajamas on. GO TO BED". After I utilised a brief toilet trip of hers to turn out the light and get into bed, she walked back in, said "oh, you've turned out the light", sat down and continued talking.
And finally, the scariest moment, the moment I knew I had to leave.

I woke up in the middle of the night to find her standing at the end of my bed in the darkness.

Ohhh yes. Following that evening I began locking my door at all times, but I would still wake up in the middle of the night to hear her rattling the doorknob, even when my boyfriend was there. She even had the audacity to ask me why I locked it, thereby pointing out that she had infact attempted to enter my room in the middle of the night.

So she managed to track me down again. I knew it was a mistake letting Dr H stay in the same old flat. Luckily she is employed in the US and seems to have no inclination to leave otherwise I may be tempted to change my name.


Marcus said...

C'mon, she wasn't that bad! ;-)

Dr J. said...

Are you f&*$ing kidding me? She just wanted in your pants as well.

marcus said...

Is that why she was always so nice to me?

Dr J. said...

Oh definately.

jules said...

That's insanely freaky! I hope she's no where near me in the US!!