Wednesday, August 10, 2005

T minus 24 hours and counting

Tomorrow is it. The big day. The Three-Oh.

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

I don´t s´pose I´ll feel any different in the morning, its just a number yadda yadda yadda.I think I feel mostly regret that I´ve spent the last year telling people "I´m almost thirty", NOT saying "I´m 29". I wasted a whole year of my twenties doing that and I WANT IT BACK. So I´m going to spend all of today wandering around the lab repeating "I´m 29, I´m 29, I´m 29" like some aging woman´s mantra.

It´s funny where life takes you really. I always thought that by 30 I´d be OLD, I´d be ORGANISED, life would be, well if not sweet, then at least PLANNED. You know, that typical Aussie thing....buy a house, have a career...hmmm I guess for most comes the get married have kids in there as well, although I never planned for that bit. Damn those pesky immigration people, forcing me into a legal contract.

But here I am...TWENTY-NINE and the most settled thing I own is my bicycle. Even the dog legally belongs to DrH. Where´s that security I crave? I´m still constantly moving cities, moving jobs. Heidelberg will be the 5th city and the 9th apartment I´ve had in the 6 years I´ve been in Germany. That´s just beyond ridiculous. I´m sick to death of moving...and we´ll probably do it again next year after I move back to Berlin, into a bigger flat.

I´m jealous of everyone who stayed at home. Everyone in Melbourne or Geelong who have their lives, their stability, their jobs, friends, partners and can do it in one place. Who aren´t forced to constantly move because contracts only last a year or two and the next job must be somewhere else. Yeah living in Europe sounds exciting, but its not like I actually see much of it...I get up, walk the dog, work, walk the dog, talk to my husband on the telephone, walk the dog and sleep. Holidays- I use all to get to Australia. Money- ditto. So I could do all of that in Melbourne, with the added bonus of having friends and family around. Although I have many friends here, they´re primarily scientists who move as much as I do, so its difficult to stay in close contact.

Sigh.

Turning 30.
At least its an excuse to whinge.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

being settled doesn't exactly have a lot of bonus either though! Yeah Ive got the steady job, the little townhouse and the friends and family around me, but similar to yourself - I have a very routine life, during the week at least - get up, go to walk, come home, go for a run/walk, eat dinner, watch TV, climb into bed (alone I might add)and do it all again!

What I will say though - is that your family here in Aussie land does miss you very much and wishes we could steal you and your gorgeous husband away from German-land! (which I love by the way - and had a sensational, amazing time visiting!) Yeap - Im selfish - just would love you guys closer.