Joy of joys the new IKEA catalogue has arrived. I know it´s pathetic. It´s an addiction. I can´t control it.
Hello, my name is DrJ and I´m an IKEA addict.
That Swedish design. The bright colours. The little Allen key screws. I´m getting shivers just writing about it.
Last night came the small Christmas edition. I would add it it too my pile of IKEA catalogues but, get this, I THREW THEM OUT. I was trying to move on, get over my reliance on the thick books that lived permanently next to the television. To stop leafing through them, rearranging our apartment in my head, repeating the soothing sounds of BEKVÄM, GRUNDTAL, UTSAGA.
So now all I have are the pathetic remainders that get sent out for the seasons. Summer´s bedroom. Spring´s kitchen. And now Winter´s Christmas Wonderland.
40 pages of IKEA shopping bliss with all you could need for the holidays. Even the freaky looking moustachioed Swedish guy cutting up tablecloths on page 6 could do nothing to diminish the thrills that were running up my spine as I started turning the pages slowly, revelling in the clear lines, the sharp edges.
I found the first necessity on page 9. Who could think of celebrating Christmas without a JULEN straw figure in the shape of a reindeer? Better yet, skip ahead to page 21 and there are the coordinating paper serviettes, completer with an artists impression of the selfsame reindeer. Really, what Christmas dinner table could call itself complete without these?
Hang on, page 24! The complete TABLO kitchen arrangement now 60% off! We definitely need a new kitchen, my love. Really. I can use the old one as a desk. Complete with a handy sink that I can put the harddrive in so it doesn´t take up space. See?
Hold the phone. What´s this? Page 33. ANNAS diy gingerbread house. All the pieces you need, just stick it together. That´s a must. I wonder if it uses those Allen key screws?
This isn´t going to work. 7 pages later and it´s over. My IKEA catalogue was just too small. It was a teaser. A let´s get her all worked up and leave her hanging. Where´s the satisfaction? The closure of reaching the monthly deals and maps to your closest location? The handy index?
I wonder if I can get the old ones on Ebay.