Monday, November 14, 2005

Thar she blows

Are you familiar with Eddie Izzard? Have you seen his Glorious video? The one where he talks about floatation vests in aircrafts? About how you have the extra little mouth valve for a “top-up”, because that´s how they always describe it, and yet it makes him think of a very English cup of tea. Swimming over to your fellow downed comrade saying “Oh Hello, fancy a top up?”

Or that there you are, having just crashed into the ocean, floating.

1000 miles to England, 2000 miles to the US.

You´ve got your whistle.


I have small backpack I bought about 2 years ago. In that time I´ve used it, oh, approximately 3000 times. Taken it on, taken it off. Opened the various zipper compartments. Admired the firm support with the special breathable back. I even –shock horror- use the little strap across the chest as it sits more comfortably. Not to mention that it gives me a cleavage Dolly Parton would be proud of and damn if I don´t just wanna have that occasionally.

This strap is black. The “receiving” part of the clicky thing is black. The insertion part of the clicky thing is bright orange. So it´s something I´ve looked at thousands of time. I´ve noticed it. I´ve handled it. I´ve pushed it in and out of it´s partner piece.

And yet, I looked at it the other day and realised it has a built in whistle. Yes, a whistle. In the orange plastic clicky thing. The thing I´ve looked at a thousand times and never seen. How could I fail to see it? Its BRIGHT ORANGE. It sits in the middle of my cleavage. I guess it is quite possible that a percentage of Berlin males could assure me that they noticed it years ago, but I missed it.

I´m like a kid with a new toy. A man with a new large breasted girlfriend. I can´t stop playing with it. Don´t worry about the unsightly boob squishing, you´ll hear me peeping long before I come into view.

1 comment:

Tom said...

SEND US A PICTURE :-)