Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Is your name not Bruce? That´s going to cause a little confusion. Mind if we call you Bruce to keep it clear?

For the last two years I´ve had to justify again and again why I didn´t change my name when I got married. Very few people seem to really accept the fact that I consider my name an extremely important part of my identity and, damn it, I´ve been called it for thirty years, I´m not about to start answering to somthing else now. Actually, the primary reason was that watching my mother receive letters addressed to Mrs B.G. Blog which was my father´s name with an S thrown in made me see red everytime.

What, her own identity wasn´t important- she´d been reduced to a pronoun?

Bollocks to that. No way was that all I was going to become.

So it surprises me how often people disagree with my point of view on this, especially when it´s women who do. I mean, I´m not a bra-burning, man-hating, short-haired, living in a women-only commune stereotype of a feminist here. I don´t think my view on the world as particularily extreme. But it really is strange how few people seem to understand this idea.

In the two years I´ve had to justify my decision (and I have had to often as it is something EVERYONE asks) there have really only been two reasons that people have found acceptable, and neither of them has anything to do with the losing of my own identity into the man´s with whom I happened to decide to spend large amounts of time with.

First, I worked damn hard to be called DrJ and I am not going to give that up and be DrSomeoneElse.

Second, DrH has a doctorate in chemistry, his mother is a medical doctor, his father a doctor in social sciences and one brother is finishing a doctorate in law. THAT´s JUST WAY TOO MANY DRH´S IN ONE ROOM.

That, THAT, people understand.


kilowatthour said...

i kept my name, too, and am constantly baffled by people getting their pants in a bunch over it. but i have a great name and i could not possibly pass up the chance to be dr. kilowatthour! so suck it, people!

Dr J. said...

Good stuff! If I had that name I wouldn´t give it up either. But it must be a pretty tough one to find a matching first name for... Sixteen Kilowatthour....Renewable Kilowatthour....Fossil fuel Kilowatthour....

MJ said...

Why follow another person's name just for the sake of following tradition? I wouldn't change my name to my husband's (if I get married)

Tom said...

So why didn't you change your name?

Megan said...

Amen sista! Should I ever get married, I've always planned to keep my name as well. I didn't go as far as to get a doctorate, but I still like having the same name as on my MA certificate! This is who I am, and no one, not even a man, will change that.