So I missed the Oscars. Sue me. It started at 2.30am and even the prospect of seeing Heath was not enough to keep me awake after a bottle of red and half a lasagna. And as I´ve previously noted: I just ain´t too good with that movie stuff anyway.
My analysis of the Oscars is therefore reserved to a quick critique of the Red Carpet Action based on the 260 photos on Yahoo. Let this be my first point: Dear Yahoo, you´ve duplicated most of the photos in that gallery, so it really should be only 140-odd photos, and if you´re going to do that can you at least make sure that they´re photos of Heath? Or Lt Harman Raab if he´s at the ceremony, I´m not fussy. Also, your webpage needs a bit of tweaking. Having to constantly scroll a few centimetres down to see the full picture and click to the next photo made me dizzy. I nearly fell down the stairs afterwards and squashed my dog. Thanks.
So onto the fashion. Well there wasn´t much to choose from in the Yahoo gallery except Keira Kneightley looking all serious and Michelle Williams looking all yellow. So now is the time I ask - Just who the hell are all these fashion critics who decide which star is going to be crucified each year? ´Cause I´m damn sure that at almost any other time Williams would have been ripped apart for dressing up like a canary. Obviously Bjork was just a few years ahead of her time as now birds are IN. Don´t get me wrong, I think she looked verrr purdy but I´m stuck with how fickle these critics are. It leaves me with the conclusion that they don´t know what they are talking about and are making it up as they go along. Which just throws my whole existence out of kilter as HOW AM I GOING TO KNOW WHAT TO WEAR TOMORROW WITHOUT SOME MAGAZINE EDITOR TELLING ME?