Friday, March 03, 2006

How to come third last in the Thursday night pub quiz

Q. 4 Name the highest mountain in the US.

“Mt Helens? Or, no that was the one that blew up.”

“And Mt Rushmore´s the one with the heads.”

“Must be in Yellowstone or something.”

“Write down Mt Buffalo.”

After handing the round in:

“Shit. Mt Buffalo´s in Australia. Hah, and it´s not even our highest mountain. I just thought it sounded American”

A. Mt McKinley

Q. 9 Who broke the four minute mile in 1954?

“Ooh. Ooh. Umm. Herbert....“

“Is that about cars?”

“Nooo, running. Herb, not Herbert. Herb, Herb, Herb........Elliot!“

A. Roger Bannister. (Herb Elliot was the youngest in 1958and broke it 17 times in his career. He is also Australian therefore much more important than that Bannister bloke in the Australian education system.)

Q. 17 Which chemist in 1823 invented waterproof fabric?

“Come on, you´re the chemist.”

“I don´t know any chemists from then, especially not English or American ones.”

“Well just give me one. Anything”

“Kelvin? No, it´s got to be the name of a clothing company or something.”

“Well you know hiking stuff better as well. Come on!”

“Quick just write down Mr South Western.”

A. Charles Macintosh

Q. 21 Name the world´s largest diamond.

“Gotta be Queen something-or-other.”

“Queen Victoria, Queen Elizabeth...”

“Don´t be silly. Umm. Prince of Persia? No, that´s a computer game. What are you writing? Come on that´s a BAND. AND the name is Queens of the Stone AGE not Queens of STONEHENGE.”

“Well leave it until we come up with something else.”

A. Golden Jubilee Diamond

Q. 23 What was the name of Hamlet´s mother?

“Queen of Denmark.”

“What?”

“Well Hamlet was Prince of Denmark. Can you come up with her real name?”

“No.”

“Then leave it.”

A. Gertrude


Final Standings:

1st Place The Unusual Suspects
2nd Place Bottom of the Class
3rd Place GMC
4th Place Alien Ted
5th Place Scotland
6th Place The Lovely Threesome.

3 comments:

Megan said...

I only knew the Hamlet question. Hell, I don't even know where Mt. McKinley is. I tell my immigrant students all the time that Americans are lazy (to explain our lack of articulation in speech), but I think I need to add that we're idiots, too.

Claire said...

I knew the diamond question and the Mt. McKinley question. I think the "Queen of Denmark" is a totally appropriate answer to the Hamlet question. When we play trival persuit, answers like that are accepted when playing "drunk Claire rules."

Dr J. said...

I thought Queen of Denmark was a damn good answer. Hey, at least I knew he was the Prince - it´s not like I´m a TOTAL ignoramus.

I like the idea of drunk rules, but that builds in a lot of leeway in a pub full of Englishmen.