Thursday, September 13, 2007

go get a life

So I went and joined Second Life to see what all the fuss is about. Don´t know it yet? It´s an online 3D world. People buy property, build houses, have businesses - the damn thing even has it´s own stock market - and people are making real money in there supplying everything your in-world personality could want. You have a 3D body you can change into any appearance: male, female, black, white, a giant ant or a slightly odd looking squirrel. It´s all possible.

Seeing as the whole thing is free to join I thought I´d give it a burl. Anything´s worth a try once, right?

If you´re not used to gaming etc, it´s not that bloody easy actually. Although being able to fly is pretty cool, I spent most of my time walking into walls or over the top of other people. I´ve never been in to chatting with random people over the internet, so just walking up to someone and going "Hi there. Love the tail. The brown fur really brings out your eyes" is not my idea of a good time.

Eventually I figured out how to use poseballs and got my avatar to recline on a beach with a poseball called Dreaming. A male avatar lay down sunbaking next to me and when he rolled over, sticking out the front of his jeans was one enormous erection.

Woah.

Welcome to sex in the modern world.

So of course, being the curious kind of lass that I am, I thought I better check this out. Because you know it may supply fodder for a blockbusting Mills and Boon. Hot Cyber Nights or Love is an Avatar. Although I´m not sure a giant animated squirrel on the cover would lead to a lot of sales.

From what I´ve seen in my voyeuristic journey, sex in Second Life is like the IKEA of porn. It´s a do-it-yourself arrangement always missing some small part to make it work right and once you´ve finally got it together the end result is slightly wobbly and not as good as a quality product. A lot of people seem to stand around a couple of avatars -who may or may not be endowed, clothed or even human- who are involved in a very awkward and jerky sex act where none of the appropriate parts seem to be interacting in biologically correct ways. Voyeurism is rife and female avatars seemed to be rather thin on the ground, which led to any number of proposals for this clothed avatar who was wandering around.

Sorry, but that tail really didn´t do it for me.

1 comment:

Paul B. said...

I love it.. ! But what are the chances of getting a SCD? (Sexy Cyber Disease) and what's all this about you getting it on with a bunch of voyeurs all standing around?

I seriously need to join Second Life again and become a Pimp or something.. but the whole subject is like lifting the toilet seat and finding a snake in the toilet.. woah now THAT is a great idea for a story.

I need another drink..