Saturday, January 12, 2008

the way to a man's heart

I was lying there, vaguely bored, while DrH was engrossed in his novel. I started poking him in the stomach just, you know, to pass the time.

He asked me to stop.

I didn't.

He kept reading, but with an air of determined ignoring about him.

I lay there a while longer looking, occasionally poking, but my heart wasn't really in it.

A thought struck me. It wasn't a thought of Nobel Prize winning quality but, hey, none of mine have been so far.

"Belly buttons are really weird looking things, aren't they?" I framed it as a question, but it was more of a statement. My way of saying Check out my cute and quirky observations, now put the book down and talk to me. I want attention.

DrH breathed noisily out through his nose. "It is when you think we spent nine months eating through it." He rolled over and kept reading.

"I had never thought of it like that," I exclaimed with a certain amount of humoured surprise. "I mean I know what it was for... like getting nutrients, supplying us with what we needed for development....but... EATING through it? Not a word I would have ever used." I paused for a moment. "Now I have this picture of people running around with belly buttons going MMmnnnyumm MMmnnnyumm MMmnnnyyumm." I made open and closing motions with my hand to emphasise the point.

"It would have been more like Sllluuuurpp Sllluuuurp Sllluuuurp," he pointed out, sucking loudly through his teeth. He turned back to his book.

I lay back and gradually drifted off to sleep. Visions of people with giant belly buttons laced my dreams.

Belly buttons lined with small pointy teeth.

Talking with American accents and ghetto attitude.

5 comments:

Susan said...

Two things...

1. Dave and I have developed a system for the attention problem. It goes something like this:

Dave - doing whatever it is he is doing which does not involve a needy wife.

Me: "Are you paying attention to me?"

Dave: "You bet!"

This signals a 5-10 minute window in which he should maybe pause whatever it is he was doing, pay some attention to me, after which he goes back to his fun.

2. A while ago there was a jeans commercial which showed bellybuttons singing "I'm coming out." Dave hated it...totally creeped him out. He had about the same face as the kid in the middle of the ad.

Gardner said...

Very nice observation on Belly Buttons. The commercial is a bit freaky.

My daughter called a Belly Button a Bauchschnabel the other day in church. Belly beak. Not sure how that fits in with the eat through it thought, but it was cute.

Romi said...

Suddenly I'm reminded of that frightening picture you posted once, you know the one...that violent plant looking thing with the no eyes, round face and big sharp teeth? Ugh..a whole new way of thinking about belly buttons ;-)

Claire said...

LOL! I will never think of belly buttons the same way again. I used to do the same with my German; poke and say something to get his attention. It never worked. Now I poke him and yell "Aufmersamkeit!" That works.

IndianaMatt said...

You can count on us to see things from a food/sex/sports point of view.
My wife's way is to suddenly proclaim/ask: "What's a girl have to do to get some attention around here?!"