Friday, October 31, 2008


For a reason which made perfect sense of at the time but actually ends up translating into a "well it would be funny if you were there"-type episode, I just googled the phrase "what do french zombies say?".

You know, because there are a number of words for BRRAAIIINNSSS and saying MIIINNDDDS or SMMAAARRRTTTTSSS just doesn't have the same bloody, lurching, undead feel. So it was an important issue and one which I wanted to get right.

Surprisingly the first hit was for a site titled "How to say I am killing zombies in different languages translation". Not quite what I was after, but potentially useful, right? I mean if I end up becoming the Berlin Buffy then I need to be able to announce my intentions in the local language, don't I?

Unfortunately the site,, seems to be automatically translated and even I can tell that the resulting phrase "Ich bin Tötung Zombies" has more than a few errors in it. So without a correct translation of this mightily important slogan I'm now going to be left either shouting it out in English as I whirl through the air, machete in hand, or risk facing German grammar unarmed. A more dangerous position to be in than you might think for German grammar has absolutely no sense of humour. And also large, pointy teeth.

However my concern for survival in the face of progressive pluperfect took a backseat when I noticed the box on the left side of the page with Popular Searches. Nestled amongst the top searches of I love you, my love, beautiful and thank you so much, were 'go to hell', 'i don't want to die alone' and 'do you have any nuclear warheads'.

Now while the first suggests tourists are just trying to get a drink in a foreign nightclub without being fondled, the second has more tragic associations and I can only assume that a large number of men are looking internationally for wives. Or nurses.

However the last is more worrying. If the translation accuracy is anything like killing zombies in German then I think we may have found the reason no one located those WMDs.

1 comment:

Diane Mandy said...

Now *that* is funny!